dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
