Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
