i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
