fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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