Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
