Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Randomize
