My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
bring money and cleavage
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
