Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
