what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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