I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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