im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Terrible idea I love it
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
