Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
