I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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