brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I am in a vortex of obligation.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize
