I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
