do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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