Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
