I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
