just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
