every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So much rum. So many feels.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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