Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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