at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
