True but thats because hes a fetus.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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