I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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