oh god the rape fog is back!
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
