READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
