The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
the gays at disneyland are vicious
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
