Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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