I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
