He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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