ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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