Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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