And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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