K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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