Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
