Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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