In the future we'll all be gay
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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