I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
