A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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