Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Soap is not a condiment
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
