What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
