I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
