we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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