i just google imaged poop.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
