I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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