Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
