just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
