just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
