Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
