Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Are my feet made of real feet?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
