dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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